Ode to Zombiehood

Sleep... must sleep! The people who tell you that the first 6 weeks after giving birth are the most difficult are NUTS! At least in those first 6 weeks he was asleep most of the time! Not that I am complaining that he is awake and smiling (I LOVE that), but I am saying I WANT SLEEP! Now he is going to be at midnight, waking up around 3 or 4, falling back asleep till 6, waking up to eat and then back asleep till around 9. Now, that might sound good to all of you... but I have severe insomnia and find it near impossible to fall asleep until 3 or 4! Not to mention that my migraines are back now! They are not as bad as they were before having Nate (as in 4 times a week), but they are getting there fairly quickly... I have had 2 already this week! Let me tell you what, being sleep deprived is one thing, but being sleep deprived and having a migraine is another. My migraines are so severe normally that they knock me out and I am completely useless. Add on top of that the sleep deprivation and it is a wonder that I can move! I cannot get back on my migraine meds either because I am breastfeeding. I am so torn between breastfeeding and having migraines or stop breastfeeding and not having migraines. I am honestly not sure which one is better for Nate... a useful mother and no breastmilk or a mother who is verging on a zombie like state 2 days a week, but getting breastmilk! I am propbably not a bad mother either way, I just feel bad having to make that decision. I know what is finicially responsible for me though... zombiehood. I cannot afford to buy formula and meds! So, breastmilk and zombie mommy!